Have you read in scripture, been told, thru musical recording or heard in a sermon that "only what you do for Christ will last?" Do you agree with that? It actually does not matter if you do or not, because it rings true in every area of our lives. Today, however, we will focus mainly on the area that has the largest fallout, repercussion, backlash and collateral damage--MARRIAGE. How do you fight? Whatever. Every couple has fights of some sort. The question is, do you fight fairly? Quick note here. Try this: Instead of agressively saying "you always" or "you never" to get a point out there, use this for beginners: "In situation X, when you do Y, I feel like Z." This places the power and control in your hands and does not open the gate for the "bull of hurt feelings" to come and "BUST UP" all the wonderful china (relationship) you have been protecting. Just try it. How do you two relate as a couple? On a scale of 1-10, how important is spiritual intimacy? On a scale of 1-10, where would you rank you marriage's spiritual level as a couple? When we use the term INTIMACY, most of us men think SEX (me too). I am learning (sometimes with dug-in heels) that this is NOT the same definition our wives are using. INTIMACY can be defined as IN-TO-ME-I-SEE. This allows the other spouse to see deeper into who you are by listening to what you have to say, without FEAR of what they may say when you expose your inhibitions, hurts, expectations, desires and feelings! One of the tools (if not the BEST) for building this layer-of-love in your relationship is prayer. Did you not know, the better your prayer life, "the better your sex life?" I heard that one today actually. IT IS TRUE--for us!!! As the spiritual lead (and priest) of our home, I am fully aware I must be strong in this area. I am (most days). Ya know what? There are days when my wife is MUCH stronger and more fervent than I am in this area. That is perfectly fine with me. Often times, I just don't feel strong enough to lead. Those are the moments when I look to her, and ask her to lead. That is why we have "prayer partners." I don't look outside my home for my prayer partner, best friend, girl-friend or lover. She is sleeping in the slot right next to me (she is otherwise known as my wife). You have to WORK at your marriage, just like you work hard on your car, or bodies (maybe), your school work, your hair, or gossip . It takes time and effort. Lots of it!! It does not have to mirror another couple you know and admire. It should look alot like the two of you. Find your own unique way to build unity and intimacy with your spouse. It should never be a time of aggression (hmm?). Find something that both of you can relate to and with--for the GOOD of EACH OTHER!! My wife and I are the same in many areas (which is so cool). My wife and I are very different in several areas also (which is weird sometimes, but well worth the wait). EVEN COOLER! Here are "some" good resources that can and will help you at some point. "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts," "Marriage Builders: Couples Study Series-through Family Life Ministries, "Marriage Retreats," Daily Couples Devotions," "Five Love Languages," "His Needs, Her Needs," and "Date Nights." What are you waiting for? Get started.